Intentions
by Rinley
Summary: "Our family was a little more than broken, Ma havin' been in and out of relationships and hoppin' from one man to the next so often I didn't even wanna think which one might've been my own father. I didn't care to know. But the man who I once thought to be the most untrustworthy snake in the whole world would turn out to be the one who'd given up the most for me."-Motives continued
1. Espion

**Author's note:**

**This is a continuation of "Motives", written by my roommate, AeolianMode. This series of stories is based on our collaborative headcanons and this one in particular is the bridge between the first installment and the sequel. It isn't quite a sequel, as it does not follow the story of Scout and Medic like the first one did, but it's still going to have some rather important elements to the story.**

**I have never written a fanfiction before (at least not officially), so this may or may not be complete feces from a male cow, but I will do my absolute best to make it enjoyable. Onward!**

* * *

Hey kid. Yeah you. Pay attention, I got another one for ya. Hey now, siddown and quit pickin' your nose. Yeah yeah, don't piss your pants, I know you're excited.

This one's a little bit... stranger. If anything it's... kinda personal. Don't go tellin' anybody, got it? Not your ma, not anybody.

This is where my life started makin' sense...

It was early mornin' and so cold I thought my ass was gonna freeze and fall right off. We were up in Canada at this place called Cold Front. Nice little place, but it didn't get its name for its charming nature. No, Kid, this place was DAMN cold. I'd never seen so much snow and by the time we left I never wanted to see it again.

When we got there, there was some kinda legal battle going on between the Administrator and Hale and the town nearby. Lemme tell ya kid, they did NOT like the thought of havin' a war goin' on next door. Point is, we got a whole week to get used to the place- learn the ins and outs, where the dead ends were and all the little nooks and cracks to hide in for an ambush. At least that's what I did. I know I'm just a runner and all but the most fun I ever had was when I got the jump on people. Especially Heavy. After the whole incident with Friedrich savin' my butt and all, Aleksandr and I were pretty okay with eachother, so it kind of turned into a game, I guess. To see how long I could toy with that Land Whale before gettin' blown away. There's no way I could face him head-on, but hit-n'-run style became my thing to take him down.

Enough about Heavy, I'm getting sidetracked. So I got to wander a lot. I wanted to know where the Doc had set up his infirmary too so I went looking' for it. He'd picked a room sorta in the back of the base right near the respawn. Not too close though. They started makin' everybody nervous after that little encounter in Kansas so I guess he was just bein' careful. That, or the fact that the room next door to it was, and I shit you not, FILLED with booze. Kid, I've never seen so much liquor in one place before, but Demoman sure did pick a good spot to hide it because the door had a pretty big lock on it. It wasn't locked at the time, so that's how I got a peek but still... Pretty impressive.

So I finally found the infirmary and walked right in without knockin'. 'Course I woulda knocked had I known it was the infirmary but hey, I was just looking.

Friedrich was sittin' at his desk with his head in one hand and in the other-

"Doc, is that..." Man, I really need to learn to shut up sometimes. I didn't have to ask- I KNEW what it was. It was one of Medic's doves.

He shot me a look that changed instantly from pained to furious, but I could still see that residual sadness somewhere.

"Go away," he snapped. He looked tired, probably from traveling. I hadn't seen him since we left, having rid the train with Spy and Pyro, whom, on a side note, none of the staff approved of in the least. I don't blame em'. Flamethrowers don't belong on trains period. Anyhow, the Doc wasn't in good shape.

"Doc, I'm... I'm sorry," I said, a little shocked to see him so torn up over a bird. "That's not..."

"It isn't Archimedes if zhat's vhat you're asking. It makes no difference zhough. I..." he trailed off for a moment, holding the bird in both hands and looking down at it contemplatively.

"Socrates vas sick. I couldn't save him. I did not even notice until zhis morning after I finished unpacking and it escalated so quickly, zhere vas nozhing I could do."

I didn't know if he meant it as a metaphor or not. You remember what I told you about Klaus, right? Well, before we left, I guess it'd been weighing on him pretty heavily, especially after our last test. He was so sure it was perfect- the thing that would increase his bone density ten fold. But when he tested it on me... Kid, I nearly died. It didn't affect my bones, but it got at my stomach lining and... Shit, it was horrible. I was coughin' up blood so fast he almost wasn't sure how to stop it. It had never gone that badly before, but after he admitted combining some things that he'd tested before that had a possibility of reacting negatively, then it all made sense. Doc was gettin' ahead of himself.

I just stared at him and the bird for a long time before I finally sat down. He shot me a look of protest, but it faded when I retaliated with concern.

That brings me to somethin' else. In the silence, I could hear him breathin'. Kid, it's haunted me since that day. When he respawned, it didn't work all the way and his lung just... quit on him. He's been weaker since then, gets winded easily... And I can hear him wheezin', his one lung workin' hard to try and compensate for the dead one.

He was quiet for a long time. It felt like a waiting game... again. I hated waiting games. This drug on for like, at least thirty minutes. I thought it was kinda ridiculous, but... then it was kind of worth it.

"I am sorry, Scout," he said softly after a bit.

"Hey, it's fine. I lost a dog once and did a lot worse than you-"

"Nein," he said, cutting me off. "I am not zhinking. As much of a pain you are, it is... only a bird. Only a pet."

Kid, he always took me by surprise with this kinda stuff. He'd gotten a little better about not being such an ass, sure, but he actually apologized for a lot of his faults at that point. Felt kinda nice, too. I wasn't used to bein' apologized to, at least not back home. People just assumed you got over stuff and if you didn't they'd tell you to grow a pair and suck it up.

The rest was kind of a blur. We didn't say much else, he wrapped up the dove and put it in an old shoebox to be buried, showed me the way back out so I wouldn't be butchered by Sniper or Demoman and that was it.

I didn't feel like exploring much more that day. I just went back to my room and finished unpackin'. This room was smaller than the one in Kansas, and a lot more... well, Kid, it just looked sad. I kinda figured out why it was small though. 'Cause of the cold outside, it was easier to keep a place like that warm. It didn't change the fact that I had to make an extra tablets outa cardboard boxes. Yeah, that didn't last long.

After that was supper, which was pretty much the same. Nothin' special happened then but afterward on my way back to hang out for a while, maybe read for a bit, I ran into a certain Frenchie. Er, he ran into me.

"Scout," he said, towerin' over me by a few inches. "Finished unpacking?"

Alright, that was creepy. He was creepy before we left to, moreso than usual. Watched me like a hawk. It was pretty damn disturbing.

"Yeah," I said, trying to make it known that I wanted to get around him. He moved to the left when I did though. "Ugh, what do you want?"

"I was curious to know if you had found any good cloaking places. I haven't had the time to look, myself.

Okayyy, so apparently I was his little buddy all of the sudden. What the heck?

"Yeah, but I don't think you'd fit."

He remained expressionless, save for closing his eyes and sighing. "Are you still angry with me?"

I knew what he meant. "Why wouldn't I be? You are MARRYIN' my MA."

"I don't see why this is such a reason for you to hate me so. I love your mother and she loves me as well. I have promised to treat her properly, though thick and thin. I should think you would be happy she isn't falling in with a other wife-beater."

"Yeah, well I don't care." I glared at him as hard as I could. "You're nothin' but a sneaky bastard and I can't believe anything you say."

"Even zhough we are on the same team?"

"Especially because of that. You're just too weird, Spy... You're not straitforward, and I don't think Ma needs any more mind games."

"Punkin'," he started. Big mistake, startin' with my real name. Seriously, what kind of mother names her son after a vegetable? "I am more honest with your mother than you know." His expression softened a little. I still didn't believe him though. This was gonna be a disaster.

I wanted out of this conversation. I dunno why he kept on my heels all the time, what the hell this was all about. My only guess was that he started feelin' like he could try to rule me because he was gonna be part of my family. Well, he had another thing comin' if he thought that.

My cheeks were gettin' hot. Spy got me all angry- he did that all the time, it seemed like. Knew how to get inside my head and make me squirm.

I leaned forward and put my pointer finger in the middle of his chest, trying to stand up to his height with my jaw set.

"If you hurt my Ma," I said, my words slow and purposeful. "I will KILL you. I will drag you away from the respawns and slaughter you like a pig."

Kid, I meant it. Threatening people wasn't normally my thing, at least not seriously, but I wanted that rat to know how much was on the line. I could see his face change, if just for a second. He looked concerned, sure, but there was something else. Sadness? Why would he be feeling that?

He pulled away from me after a second. "It would be wise not to threaten me, Punkin'." Oh now I KNEW he was messin' with me. "But you have nothing to worry about.

He walked off on his own and I was left standin' in the hall. After that I went to bed but didn't get much sleep. Too much on my mind, what with Friedrich and the never-ending chain of death and Spy creepin' around like some kinda spider... or a crab. Yeah, Spy was definitely more like an ugly little crab.

The week dragged on until the legal disputes were settled. I have to say, it got kinda boring after a while. I visited Engineer once but he was bein' all introverted and didn't pay me much attention. Something' about a new sentry gun. After that I took to hangin' out with my own team, or tryin' to. Soldier was pushy and loud and only ever wanted to talk about how to make a man scream a certain way or cause him to wet himself or that song by Charlie Ray. Yeah, Kid, he meant Ray Charles, but would fight to the death to prove that he was right.

Pyro was another story. He never _said _anything. Never took off his mask, never showed any kind of expression. Spy freaked me out in one way, but Pyro genuinely terrified me sometimes. He'd sit around with a lighter during our down time and flick it on and off for no reason other than to watch it burn. So I'd avoid him as much as I could. In fact, I never quite figured out where Pyro's room was. I didn't wanna know, frankly.

Then the fighting finally began. We were informed over the intercom that Monday was it. Oh man, I was excited. It's a littl embarrassin' but I hadn't had a really good romp in all that snow yet, and that combined with bullets flyin'. Aw it was gonna be magical.

Turns out I was very wrong. It was like Hell I that snow. I wasn't used to runnin' and shootin' in it and every time I'd step in it my leg would sink up to my knees in certain places. I dunno why Engineer didn't sink so bad or Spy. I eventually figured out which spots were the worst and either jumped over em' or hid under em'. Like a gopher.

Fightin' wasn't much different. Sentries were set up on the Red team, Pyro was blowin' shit away and eventually I found my groove and no one stood a chance for too long.

I always hesitated though to shoot the Doc, at least of I knew I couldn't kill him right away. I noticed a major difference in his and Heavy's performance- how often he had to stop, especially in the colder air to catch his breath, how much he had to subdue any maniacal ferocity on the field because of the energy it took, y'know, the works. He seemed to be in better spirits though so I left it at that.

The fight stopped when the RED team won, just by a hair. It was kinda customary for the winning team to finish us off, but between some members it had almost become funny. Engineer walked up to me, we shook hands and he promptly shot my head off. I remember seein' him trying to hold back a laugh, 'cause I crossed my eyes at the last second. It was kinda odd that I had more friends on the enemy team than my own, but if I'm honest with ya, Kid, they were WAY more tolerable than the jokers I had to work with.

I'm ramblin'. Back to the point. We had supper and I was about to hear off to my room to hang out for a while when I saw somethin'- _someone _outa the corner of my eye.

"Ugh, what do you want?" I asked as Spy approached. "If ya didn't stalk your own team you might not look so weird.

When I turned around, I saw him uncloak. He'd been invisible that whole time with nothing but a subtle blue sheen to outline him when he turned a certain way. I wasn't supposed to be able to see him. No one was. And apparently it surprised him a little too.

He cleared his throat, expression shifting back to that old unreadable slate and came closer.

"Nothing really, but I noticed your performance was not as pristine as it could have been."

"What?" I cocked my head at an angle slightly. He better not be tryin' to criticize me, especially on what I already know.

"Well, we did lose. The snow is not as easy to traverse as you thought it would be, is it?"

I didn't know what he was getting at. Unless...

"You know," he began.

He better NOT.

"If you just,"

Don't. Go. There.

"Wore larger shoes,"

Oh, he went there. My knuckles grew hot. Spy was about to be the man of no face I stead of a thousand if he didn't quit.

"Because of the surface area,"

Kid, let me explain somethin'. I've got the tiniest freakin' feet... Gyah, I hate em'. Always have. I mean look at me, everythin' about me is just... small. I'm like a damn runt. Ever been bullied by a girl? Well, probably not. I have. Plenty a' times, at least before about middle school. Well, even then there was this chick on the wrestling team that pinned me every single time. She was a beast... a beast with the face of an angel- gettin' sidetracked again. At least you're bein' educated either way, right?

"Shut up," I said. " Right there, just stop."

"I am only trying to help you," he said. "Every time we lose our pay gets docked. If I were you, I would take whatever assistance I can get."

"I think I can take care of it, _Spy._" That stupid name rolled out of my mouth like a hiss. "Go bother somebody else."

He looked… kinda surprised, Kid. I mean, I could be vicious, but I was _spittin'_ mad. This guy had the nerve, after stalkin' me, messin' with my ma, _and_ callin' me by the name only Ma was allowed to use without getting' some kind of retaliation, to then insult me with what he thought was 'constructive criticism'. I had had enough. I hated him. I wanted to maul him right there.

Now, Kid, normally I just… wanted to avoid him. But I guess it all just came crashin' in on me at once. Y'know how sometimes you just… snap? I'd had a long day and didn't need any more beef from a backstabbin' Frenchie. I woulda walked away, but I just kept starin'. And I woulda kept starin', tryin' my best to burn holes in his ugly mug if somethin' hadn't interrupted.

"Uh," It was a familiar voice. One I wasn't used to hearin' in our base, especially at night.

I turned and looked to see a massive hulk of a Russian standin' in the doorway, takin' up almost the whole thing.

"Aleksandr?" I asked out loud.

"Em… Is… bad time?" Normally he had a kind of… I dunno, gruff way about him, but I guess he'd walked in on a conversation he didn't expect.

"No. Spy was just _leavin'._" I shot him a glare, but he didn't respond. Just cloaked again and wandered off.

Heavy was silent for a couple of seconds. "Doctor says he vants to see leetle man. Did not feel like coming himself, sent me instead."

"What about?"

"Did not say, probably ehh, new test."

"Okay." At that point I didn't feel like going to my room anymore. In fact, Heavy's timing could not have been more perfect.


	2. Collé

**Author's note: I'm going to try to post a new chapter at least every week. I don't like to try to do two in one week because I write in spurts and sometimes have slow bits so I'm not sure I can keep up with that. I hope that's okay with everyone.**

**Also, that bit at the beginning with Heavy's comment about Sasha is a tribute to Ellemgram's "Heavy's Lullaby". It's a hilarious little one-shot and I encourage folks to check it out.**

* * *

We went over to the infirmary without much of a word. It was pretty cold outside but Ma had sent me a coat before I left Kansas. Lemme' tell ya, the thing felt like a space heater on the inside.

Heavy opened the door to the infirmary and let me go in first. The Doc was standin' there lookin' at somethin' dead in a jar. Looked like a rat, but the thing had six legs so I dunno.

"Ah, Scout, zhere you are." He looked to be in a good mood- or at least as good of a mood as possible. "Danke, Aleksandr. Sorry to keep you up."

"Not a problem," he said, grinning. "Need to sing to Sasha anyvey before bed." And with that, he disappeared.

I quirked an eyebrow at that last comment. "Wait, what? _Sing_ to it?" Doc never did answer me though.

He was fiddlin' with somethin' across the room. "Sit down over zhere, please," he said finally, motioning to a chair. It was the same chair he had in Kansas, with the leather straps that hung off the arms and all. He never had to use them again after that first time, except maybe that one time that I was all hyped up on a Bonk soda and he couldn't make me sit still. I tell ya, those things are _incredible._ Anyway, I sat down, careful to avoid the crack in the vinyl because it pinched me on the leg sometimes and then laid my hands over the arms of the chair.

Friedrich came over after a minute or two at a table across the room with his back turned to me. The setup of this office was different. In Kansas his work table was behind me, but here I could kinda see what he was workin' on. There was a blueish-clear liquid in a jar he was messin' with, which he eventually drew up into a syringe and turned to face me. He had one in each hand and I could only guess that the first one had been prepared before I got there.

He sat down in his chair and rolled it closer, sighing heavily. I couldn't help but hear his breathin'. It wasn't as loud as before, while he was recovering but it was still apparent.

"Ya did pretty good today," I said, trying to make small talk. Sometimes the long pauses made me antsy.

"Danke. Ze air outside vas… refreshing." I couldn't tell if he was bein' sarcastic or not. That air was NOT refreshing. If anything, it burned like fire. "Turn your arm over."

I did as I was told, but with hesitation. I mean, I knew it would most likely be fine, but somethin' was scratchin' at the back of my head tellin' me to be careful.

Friedrich apparently took notice and began explaining what it was to calm me down. Somethin' about intestinal lining and bone density and… well, Kid, they all sounded the same. He was trying to reach pretty much the same goals with different variations of the same stuff. Some things worked, some didn't and some worked better than others. That's what he was doing here. He said it was similar to one he'd tried, but wouldn't quite tell me how.

The first shot was okay but the second one… it was a little tingly. Sometimes they did that- made my skin hot and had a lingering burn that I couldn't help but be a little wary of.

"You did not jerk zhat time. Makes zhings easier, danke."

"Yeah, well, if you didn't take so long. Sometimes I think you just like watchin' people squirm… like some kinda mad scientist-"

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Ah-heh. Yeah…"

I don't remember much after that. I went back, went to bed, that was the end of that. I could tell the Doc was tired so I did him a favor and didn't find a reason to hang around, as bad as I didn't want to leave. I just knew Spy was waitin' around somewhere, even if I didn't run into him.

Next day, I woke up and felt… off. I couldn't put my finger on what it was. All day I felt off. Just… dizzy and spaced out, like I couldn't focus. I tried drinkin' some more soda but honest-to-goodness, it just made it worse. I couldn't relax after that but I was still kinda confused. We lost another fight, probably because of me. I forgot which way I was runnin', got lost more than once and walked right into one of Dell's Level 3's. I mean right into it. Saw it and everything and got blown away anyhow.

The entire day dragged on like that and I don't remember many details except for the brain fog.

The next day however was another story.

I remember wakin' up in the middle of the night with a hauntingly familiar pain in my gut. Not just that, but in my arms and legs too. I couldn't move. I mean, I could, but it hurt like hell to try to get up. I had to though 'cause I knew what was about to happen. That burning in my stomach told me exactly what it was. I hardly had enough time to turn over and tilt my head off the bed before I felt my stomach wretch and I started pukin' blood again. It burned like a white hot iron poker in my throat.

I coughed again, tryin' to hold back a wimper. Kid, you know me, I'm pretty tough. But this _hurt._ Like, way deep down in my system it hurt, in places I didn't know I had nerves.

Carefully I put one of my feet outa bed, tryin' not to step in the mess I'd made. I had to get to the bathroom, which was across the hall. I had a sink and all in my room but only a couple of em' actually had toilets. Spy got one and I can only assume Pyro got the other one.

The thing is though, I could _barely_ stand up. I wobbled around, holdin' onto anything I could grab. My vision was so blurry… Remember how I said this had happened before? Well, I never thought anything could be worse than that. This topped it by a mile. Every step made me wanna scream or collapse, whichever came first. It hurt deep in my legs as if it were in the bones themselves.

I found my way out into the hall eventually, but it was so dark out there I wasn't sure if I was goin' in the right direction or not.

But then I ran outa things to grab. It was just a strait shot, but Kid, I could _not_ get my stupid legs to stay strait. Naturally I fell. Not hard, but enough to make me yell. I coughed again and could feel more blood crawlin' up my throat and out my mouth. I couldn't get back up after that and rolled to one side, tryin' to stay calm but… terrified. Respawns can fix a broken leg, sure. They can fix a missing arm or mangled head but bein' sick like that was another story. If I died and respawned, it would put all my blood back, sure, but whatever the hell was happenin' in my stomach would still be there. All it did was put things back in their proper place, and my stomach was already where it should be. It was just different.

I musta yelled pretty loud because I heard footsteps behind me after a minute or two. I just laid there. I didn't care who it was. I couldn't stop coughing and concrete was warm and wet beneath me.

The steps stopped and I heard someone crouch beside me, putting their hand on my shoulder somewhat hesitantly.

"Punkin'?"

Of course. Spy. Last person I wanted to see, but probably the best one who I would have wanted to and could have, realistically. Soldier would have screamed at me to 'be a man and tough it out' and Pyro would've… I dunno, set me on fire? Possibly.

I couldn't answer him. I couldn't stop the fit long enough to say anything at all. Even though it was dark I think he knew something was horribly wrong. I felt him grab me under the arms and drag me into the bathroom, flippin' on the light and proppin' my front half on the toilet seat. I was so out of it, I wasn't sure what was goin' on exactly. I think he was retracin' the trail of blood back into my room before he returned. I was shakin' like a leaf, chilling and sweating all at once.

"What happened here?" he asked finally. "Answer me if you can."

It was hard. Real hard. My insides just wanted to keep purgin' everything that was comin' in from my bloodstream. I had to try to force myself to stop long enough to answer him. It didn't want to though. Kid, if I'd had sense enough to be angry and the strength to carry out what that anger wanted me to do, I woulda strangled the Doc. Okay, maybe not, but I trusted him to fix the formula, and I thought he did. He made it worse though because of it I thought I was gonna die. I just felt kinda… betrayed, I guess.

I took a deep breath and held it for a second, tryin' to suppress the urge to vomit again.

"M-Monday…" I gasped, words echoin' flatly in the toilet bowl, "Doc must've… must've done somethin'… w-wrong…"

Spy was quiet for just a second. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was sittin' on the stool beside me, thinkin'.

"Ze Medic did zis to you?"

I gave an idle nod, not sure what I was getting myself into. I started coughin' again and this time I really couldn't stop. The pain took a turn for the worst and between gags I was sobbin'. Yeah, I can see your eyes getting' wide, Kid and rightly so. I was scared shitless.

My vision suddenly went all neon and I felt myself slide off the side of the toilet onto the floor. Spy's muffled voice said- no, _screamed_ my name over and over and the world went black.

I woke up on the floor of the respawn room just like I had in the first place. Just… more pain. Spy was standin' over me and I could see the worried look on his face. Not fake worried, but real concern for me. It was kinda weird and I wasn't used to it.

He didn't try to move me from that spot, just laid me on one side and found a fryin' pan somebody'd been using as a weapon out there. That was against the rules but it sure was fun to hear it clang against a skull or two. He put the thing beside my head in case I needed to vomit again, and went and emptied it out in the sink every time so there wouldn't be more of a mess. I guess he didn't use a bucket 'cause I didn't have the strength to reach the edge of it. Honestly, Kid, it confused the heck outa me. I didn't know _why_ he was doin' this. Why he was sittin' there with me. It just furthered my belief that he was nothin' but a creep for the sake of bein' a creep.

I respawned one other time that night, then four more times the next day. I had to take my only sick day on the floor of the respawn room because I couldn't stand up long enough to go fight, let alone do it effectively. I got a nice little message from the Administrator that I would be fired if I missed another day, but there was a softer edge in her voice than I was used to hearing that suggested that statement might have been an exaggeration to get me back on my feet, but she could see clear as day that I was dyin' over and over all on my own and I didn't think she would fire me for that.

This was what Friedrich told me about- what would happen with Klaus, what almost happened with him. How ironic that it was happening to me instead.

Spy left me there of course, but every time he respawned he stopped to check on me, every time just shaking his head angrily and heading back out there with a look of hatred in his eyes.

The day dragged on until three o' clock finally rolled around. The Administrator called a ceasefire, and lo' and behold, we lost again. Look, Kid, I'm pretty important to my team, but that's not the only reason. We're actually one man shorter than the other team. But it's kinda compensated, at least now. Soldier and Pyro are brutal, but so is their Demoman. He's usually drunk though so that gives us an advantage. They also have Heavy, Engineer, Medic and Sniper. Sniper's good but we have Spy to take him out, Heavy's powerful but he sticks with the Medic who is of course, slower now, and Dell's pretty easy to take out if there's not a sentry around. 'Course I'm fast but I'm also easier to blow to smithereens. The point of all that is, BLU has to have all its members to stand a chance. I was down so of course we lost.

I was too delusional from round after round of pain and vomiting to really think about much but it did cross my mind that Spy didn't come back to check on me again. I figured he must've just given up or changed his mind or something, but an hour later, he came back with the Doc, who had brought his medigun. I was startin' to fade again so I didn't understand what they were saying. Medic just looked in my eyes, one then the other as Spy barked at him something that I was pretty sure was a long string of curses. Then black again, then I woke up with the two hoverin' over me like before and I didn't feel quite so wet and gross. I could understand them now. Spy was furious. Apparently he'd been purposely stabbin' Friedrich all day just out of spite. I wanted to be mad at him for that, but I could hear it in his voice- there was somethin' there I wasn't familiar with. Pain… that was it, pain. He went on about how Doc was sabotaging our team and that his view of what was 'okay' was horribly skewed, which, comin' from somebody like Spy, I didn't think he had any right to say that.

"Bring him to the infirmary," he said after looking me over. "I need to see vhat vent wrong here."

I felt Spy scoop me up, somewhat shakily at first. Spy wasn't the strongest member of our team by any comparison but then again, I wasn't the heaviest. They managed to get me there somehow.

I don't remember much after that, just bein' stuck with a needle and fallin' asleep almost right away. I woke up and it was dark outside, from what I could see out the Doc's window. I was so out of it, I don't quite remember what happened after that. Just some more sleepin' before I came to again with the mornin' light streamin' in on me. Felt kinda nice, actually.

The Administrator, I later found out, had dismissed both Medic and myself until things were sorted out. We all knew how long it took regular doctors to do things that took Friedrich a fourth of the time with better results, at least most of the time, so it wasn't too unreasonable to let him work on me instead. It was against the rules but… when push comes to shove, time being push and money being shove, she wasn't above lettin' a few things slip. The Mann brothers didn't have to know _everything._

I felt funny. That's all I knew. The pain was gone, but… there was this fuzzy feeling left behind. Like something was coverin' it up.

I tried to sit up but the Doc laid a gloved hand on my shoulder. "Stay down," he said. "You've got some strong painkillers in your system. You von't last zhree minutes on your feet."

"What… happened…" I asked quietly, starin' at him.

He lowered his head, laying one hand on the edge of the table and staring at the floor. "I made a mistake, zhat's vhat."

"That last formula?"

"Ja. I zhought I had it zhis time. I von't try zhat one again."

"I feel funny," I said.

"You may for a while. It took me a vhile to get everyzhing back into order vith your stomach rugae. It seems as zhough zhey did not fold correctly in one spot and tore a rather large hole. Your muscles should return to normal as vell. I have also given you a previous formula again to improve basic functions. Should get you back on your feet quicker." He wouldn't look at me while he worked, just organized things as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"I'm sorry, Punkin'," he said. "You-"

"I got stuck, didn't I?" I said, staring idly at the ceiling. I was sorta out of it and wasn't sure what I was saying, at least not completely. "In the respawn?"

"…ja." He rubbed his forehead. "Spy… informed me of all of zhis. In great detail."

"Creepy bastard." I crossed my arms gently over my chest in contemplation. "I dunno why the hell he cares so much. It was my problem, your problem, _not_ his. Especially all of a sudden."

Medic sat down in his chair and sighed. He didn't say anything more beyond that.

Friedrich thought the same, apparently. Little did I know however that a suspicion had suddenly turned into a curiosity and was making its slow and steady march towards a conclusion.


	3. Père

_Sorry this took so long to get posted and sorry if this chapter is kind of dumb. Aeolian and I are going to work out the bugs with making Motivations and Intentions flow a bit more fairly soon so keep an eye out for updates in her story!_

* * *

I was down for a good couple of days at least, and by the third day still felt a little wobbly, but the Administrator deemed that I should have to at least try to fight again. I think the Doc knew I wasn't all that interested in testin' anything else out for him and kinda thought I was angry with him. I mean, I was, but after he got me well again I didn't see any reason to. The point is, he ignored me- wouldn't kill me in the fights, wouldn't look at me hardly. I hoped he would come outta that soon because I really did wanna keep helpin' him.

I did my best to help out my team and we actually won that round. It felt kinda nice and put me in a good mood.

Except, one thing kept hangin' over my head- somethin' I wanted to ask but hadn't had the chance to.

"Alright, Spy, why'd you do it?" I said, stoppin' him after dinner.

He just looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Why d'you suddenly care so frickin' much?"

"He sabotaged our team."

"And you thought he wouldn't come lookin' for me anyway? You didn't have to sit around like a… like a _hen_ lookin' at me all night."

Any and all emotion faded from his face. I just clenched my fists at my sides and waited.

"Why do you subject yourself to such deadly things?" he asked coldly.

"Because I'm _helpin'_ Friedrich! You said yourself we've got a friendship here. He's not gonna let me die."

"But he did. You were trapped in ze respawn cycle until he finally fixed ze problem.

"Why do you care so much?" I took a step forward, tryin' to stand up tall. Kid, I wanted answers. This guy was makin' no sense.

"You are a part of my team."

"But you never cared before, even if I was draggin' myself in circles out there on one arm. Is it suddenly because you're getting' married to Ma? Is that it?"

"Well, naturally, I assumed I should take some responsibility for her children-"

"No. Stop right there." If he thought just because he was getting' married to Ma that he could take over my life then he was _sorely_ mistaken.

"You listen here," I said. "I've survived this long on my own. Hell, I've survived all my life pretty much on my own. I fought my brothers. I've fought whatever man happened to be beatin' on her 'till he broke my arms. A killer like you can't just step right into a family that's already hardly holdin' its head up and expect to take charge, not over her, my brothers and _especially _not me."

I could see by now he was angry and… possibly hurt. I didn't think Spy could feel hurt, at least not emotionally. I guess the reason I was so mad was the confusion. I didn't know why any of this was happening, right outa the blue.

He said something in French and walked away. I was glad, 'cause I wasn't backin' down.

Kid, there was like this… tension… over the next week or so. It just felt weird. I partly blame the weather, because everybody was getting down in the dumps after a while. Even Pyro. He just kinda lit their clothes on fire and let em' get away and I swear, I _tripped_ over Demoman more than I fought him. It was just so _cold._

It was especially hard that Friedrich didn't want to talk to me much anymore. I mean, you remember what I said a while back. I never had a dad. Not a real one anyway. It was like the only dad I'd ever known was flat-out pretending I didn't exist anymore. I'm not a fan of drama and I hate to sound so heartless but I wanted it to be over. Whether Spy just disappeared or the Doc to come up with somethin' new that he wanted to try. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a confusing rock and a frustrating hard place.

I had to get some fresh air that night and went for a walk. As much as I wanted to just hole up in my room and hide, I needed a reminder of who I was. Even a runner forgets why he runs sometimes, so that's what I did. I left behind my coat and stepped out into the frigid air and ran, as far and fast as I could, through the old cabins, over the snow banks and fighting my way through them like a snow plow, up and down flights of stairs wherever I could find them, even across the roof of one building. At first I couldn't relax, but soon I'd forgotten where I was, why I was even doin' this. I felt _free. _Just free, nothin' else.

I ended up on the roof of the RED base just as the wind started to pick up again. I was panting and sweatin' like crazy, but it felt good to really be pushed to my limits again without worryin' about dyin'once I got up to speed.

I just sat around for a few minutes before I got up to leave. The bit of roofing I'd used to get over to where I was was higher, so I went through the door up there and down the stairs into the red base. I was headin' towards the exit when somebody grabbed my sleeve.

It was the Doc, standin' there all quiet and lookin' like he was thinkin' hard about something.

"I vas hoping you vould come zhis vay,' he said.

"Huh?" I asked. "Were you watchin' me that whole time?"

"Not ze entire time, no, but I had to get out for a moment and saw someone run into zhat building out zhere."

He looked pretty bad from what I could see. Rougher than usual as if somethin' was weighing on his mind.

"So… anything you needed?" I'm not partial to awkward silences in case you didn't already know that, Kid. The Doc was the ultimate Conversational Pauser, though.

"Ja. I… need to talk vith you about somezhing."

"Look, if it's about that last experiment-"

He shook his head. "Nein. It's… actually, come vith me. It's too cold to zhink correctly out here."

"I can agree to that," I said and followed him into the infirmary. He sat in his desk chair and I sat in another one that floated around the room depending on where it was needed. A dove promptly perched on his shoulder and began grooming through his hair.

"So what's up?"

He sat quietly for a long time, as if in thought. Kid, I was getting' nervous right off the bat. Somethin' wasn't right. I didn't know if I was gonna die again or what from the long pause.

"Punkin'," He said. It still sounded weird for him to use it, but I knew this was somethin' serious. "Tell me about your father."

"Huh?" That wasn't what I expected to hear.

"Tell me about your father- vhat do you know about him?"

"That could mean a number of things, Doc. You mean the guy Ma was married to when I was born? His name was Jeff. Just another wife-beater. Hell, had it not been for my brothers, I might not be here right now. Boy, that jackass loved to take out his rage on anything smaller than him, includin' all of us. Drank almost as bad as Demoman."

He nodded once or twice, his face contemplative. "I see. I don't zhink your mozher is married now though, is she?"

"Nah, Jeff left when I was like, seven. There was a big legal battle and… well, if I remember right the guy went to prison."

He nodded again. "Let me ask you this question, zhen. Vere zhere any other men in your mozher's life around zhat time? Any zhat you can zhink of."

"Not right off hand, no. Why? Where are you goin' with this?"

Another pause.

"Doc?"

He obviously wanted me to know something but… couldn't just come right out and say it.

"Vhen you first became a mercenary," I could tell he was avoiding the point, but in hindsight I can see he was trying to explain his reasoning. "You came here by yourself, ja?"

"Well yeah, of course I did."

"Zhere vas one ozher zhat came right before you. Not zhree days, probably before you showed up. I had some suspicions about zhis. None of us vere hired so close togezher, for one reason or anozher. You and he were zhe acception."

"Just spit it out, what's your point?" I was getting' angry at him. I didn't know any of these guys before I came here.

Unless-

"Vhen you vere knocked out some time ago, I did some snooping, especially after Spy became so angry vith me. You say your mozher vas not involved vith anyone, but she is currently engaged to ze Spy, no?"

I felt somethin' creepin' up my spine. I didn't want to know where this was headed anymore. I managed a quiet "yeah."

"And vhat did she think of you becoming a mercenary?"

"She didn't… want me to. She thought I was going to die."

"Zhat sounds about right. Zhe mercenary who showed up zhree days before you vas ze Spy, which confused me a little because of his level of skill. Vhy vould someone like him vant to be a simple mercenary for two warring brothers over a gravel pit or two?"

I found myself shakin' my head, partially out of thinkin' how ridiculous this all sounded and partially out of it… makin' sense.

"So what are you getting at?"

"I have been vorking on a DNA comparison over zhe past few days between you and zhe Spy,"

My whole body suddenly tensed up and the back of my head felt like someone had poured molten metal over it.

"You're saying… Spy's my…" I couldn't say it. I didn't _want_ to say it. I didn't want to _believe _it. It wasn't possible. No, it couldn't be possible. Not ever.

"Ja. I don't know how, but… Spy is your father." By then he was leanin' over with his elbows on his knees, lookin' at me over his glasses. A wave of absolute horror swept over me, Kid. Pure dread. Just… I mean, I know you got a dad and all, but imagine for a second, the shittiest, most untrustworthy person you knew was actually your old man? What do you mean you gotta be married to have kids? In a right proper world, yeah, but this ain't a nice place. Maybe your ma'll explain the cruel side of the 'birds and bees' talk to you one day. For now, just know that my old man wasn't who I thought he was. Doc had evidence, plain and simple.

"Why're you telling me this?" I asked. My breathin' was getting heavier, tighter. Somethin' in my chest was just... about to snap, I thought. Turns out I was the product of a one-night fling between a back-stabbin' Frenchman and my Ma. It was _not_ the sorta news any person wants to hear, I can imagine.

"Because, you have a right to know," said the Doc, and he put his hand on my shoulder.

"So I'm an…" I put my hand over my mouth as if trying to hold the words in, or maybe because my whole face was stinging. "an accident." My head dropped in disbelief.

I think I took Friedrich by surprise. I didn't think he expected me to actually care about it in that way. I mean, I probably wouldn't have been so torn up if it hadn't have been Spy.

See, Kid, I knew Ma and Spy were dating only after I met the guy as a merc. It made me real angry, honestly. I love my Ma, but she drives me nuts with this whole "Gotta have a man" thing. She kept findin' all the wrong ones, makin' us all suffer for it. But Kid, you've gotta stick with your family, even if they are a messed up bunch of people. Sure, between my brothers and Ma, we fought like dogs, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world. She's the most kick-ass mother a guy could ask for. And seein' her put down over and over again made me suspicious. I think we all were.

But then I found out it went much deeper than that. For almost _twenty_ years, they were seein' eachother.

I just sat there, forever. Feelin' more and more hopeless by the second. I guess the Doc could see it in me, the way I kind of faded into my own thoughts, going through every important moment in my life and thinkin' _This wasn't supposed to happen because you were an accident,_ and _This would have been so much better without you._ But mostly what got me was the_irresponsibility_ for what they had done. It was one of those moments when you question who really loves you and who doesn't. I had never even _met_ Spy before I started workin' here. Yet I could only assume he'd been present in the background occasionally, here and there.

I wanted to… cry, Kid. I didn't know what else to do after that.

"Punkin'," Medic said, tryin' to snap me out of it.

"…don't call. me. that." I growled. I heard Medic scoot his chair closer. He grabbed my shoulders after a moment and propped me up. I didn't even want to look at him. "Scout,"

I didn't realize at that point that I _was_ crying. Sometimes grown-ups cry, too, Kid. It's not just you. It's just a lot harder to make us cry. But when somethin' like your very existence turns out to be not as legit as you thought it was, sometimes it's okay.

"Should I not have told you?" he asked.

"N-no. I'm… glad you did," I said after a minute. I looked back finally with a smile I was usin' just to try and muscle through it. "I've gotten by this long as a bastard, why should things be any d-different…" I was tryin' to keep it together, but he must've known it was hard.

I've never known of the Doc to hug anyone before, except Klaus, and even that was really distant and formal, and I didn't even know if he was that kind of person or not to even think to do this. But he wrapped his arms around me and I got this firm embrace I don't think I'll ever forget. Somethin' about it just… tore me up and I sobbed like an idiot. I wish I was tougher, Kid. I wish nothin' ever bothered me and that I could smack talk all I wanted and bust up heads and insult everyone I know like normal and not feel the least bit bad about it, but it ain't that way.

You better _never_ tell anybody I'm tellin' you any of that, hear me? But I want you to know this so you don't go off into the world thinkin' your so tough and invincible that somethin' can't ever tear you down. Because Kid, somethin' always does, and when it does, you shouldn't try to ignore it or hide it. I spent most of my life tryin' to become independent of everybody around me, tellin' myself how much I didn't need em'. Truth is, when help is offered, take it. Don't take more than they offer, but don't turn it down either if you need it.

It occurred to me again what I had thought of before. Even if the idea itself was a little fragmented due to the situation, I still thought Friedrich was a much better dad to me than anyone I could ever meet.

I wasn't out of the clear yet though…


	4. Disparu

_Author's Notes: Chapter 4 was originally fifteen pages long, so I had to cut it down. On the upside, it means more updates, but on the downside it meant that it ended sort of awkwardly, I think. Will Punkin' ever help the man he despises? Will ammends ever be made? Find out next week!_

* * *

I stayed at the Doc's long into the night. Neither of us really said much, and for another half hour or so we just sort of sat there. I don't think he was really prepared for it, but I'm glad he handled it the way he did.

I was just tryin' to wrap my mind around all of it. I didn't really know what I was feelin'- angry, hurt, probably a little confused. When the fight came back to mind, I didn't wanna go through with it.

Eventually Friedrich got up to do some more work, and after about his second cup of coffee I decided it might be a good idea not to deprive him of sleep too just because I didn't want to.

I got up and thanked him, shooing away another dove that had fallen asleep on my shoulder, and proceeded to leave. He nodded and once he'd closed the door behind me, I stood for a second or two, listening to my heartbeat.

Then ran.

I ran as far and fast as I could, jumping the fence and bolting out onto the highway, which was slippery and hard to keep my footing on, so I ran beside it instead. Kid, I went probably three miles at full speed before I finally stopped in the little down nearby. The one I said was havin' some problems with us bein' there. I didn't really _mean_ to end up in the town, but since I was there and exhausted I just decided to try and stay for a while.

Plus, it wasn't like I was still wearin' my uniform. I just looked like any other average Joe out there, 'cept for my shoes. I only had one pair of shoes.

I remember I was dog tired by the time I found a little diner up the road. But see, I was careful since that incident in Kansas. The way that girl looked at me when I couldn't pay up made me prepared if nothin' else. I always carried a few dollars around in my pocket no matter what. And I could afford to do that, too! It was pretty great, not havin' to walk by restaurants with the doors wide open and a mouth-watering smell floatin' out, but havin' to keep walking with a growlin' stomach.

They looked to be open all night so I went inside and sat at a little booth over in the corner. I didn't really want anything to eat. I really just wanted to sit somewhere warm _away_ from base for a while. Without fail though, this waitress comes up, starin' at me skeptically.

"What'll ya have?" she asked, tossin' her slightly graying hair over one shoulder.

I took a peek over the menu, wearily. I had to think of somethin' quick. But apparently I wasn't quick enough.

"Well? Are you gonna order something or not?"

"Uh…" I said the first thing that came to my head. "T-toast."

"That it?"

"And uh… coffee."

"Anything with that?"

"No thank you." She finally left and I knew I'd have a minute to gather my thoughts before the food got there so I laid my head down on the table to relax a little.

And would you believe it, Kid, I fell asleep. Right there in the diner.

I woke up with a start the next morning to cold coffee and toast in front of me and an angry waitress starin' me down.

"You've been here all night, you little punk! Get ou-" she was about to finish her sentence but stopped. "Shit, Son, you look awful."

I blinked a couple of times, trying to remember exactly where I was. I opened my mouth to try and apologize when it hit me. "What time is it?" I asked.

She seemed to have softened a little bit. I was glad for it. "It's about…" she looked over at the clock. "Ah, ten in the mornin'."

"Aw crap!" I said, shuffling out of the booth as fast as I could, stopping momentarily to give her all the money I had in my pocket and explain it was all I had and starting out the door.

"Have a safe trip home, Hon." she said.

I stopped, right there in the doorway. "I'm not goin' home," I said. Kid, I did somethin' kind of stupid right then. You know how sometimes when you're mad you make dumb choices? Well this was one of em'.

"I'm not going anywhere, actually…" I said, turning around with my jaw set. Who was I kiddin'? I had no life left back there at the fort. I had no life left anywhere. The only reason I joined up was to help Ma, but with Spy doin' my job for me, I figured I could just leave em' to be one big happy family by themselves.

And here was as good a place as any to start a new life.

"Wait," I saw somethin' in the window- a reversed sign with big red letters that read 'HELP WANTED.' I pointed to it, lookin' back at the lady. "You still offerin' jobs?"

She crossed her arms, squintin' them beady black eyes at me. "Yeah. But the pay ain't much. Just need somebody to sweep n' do some dishes. Between me n' Benny back there we don't have as much staff as we'd like."

"I'll take it," I said. "Hell, I'll take anything."

She smiled. I could tell this was gonna be tedious- not my kind of work but… I needed _somethin'. Anything._ I just wanted to get my mind off of _that._ "I like you, Kid. Don't slack off and you'll do just fine." She paused. "But wait- you ain't from around here, are you? You got a place to stay?"

I froze. Oh yeah, forgot about that one. I wasn't sure what to say to that. "Y-yeah!" I lied. "Yeah, my uh… my cousin's house down the road. Figured I'd get a job to y'know, pay em' back."

She eyed me suspiciously, but eventually bought it. I didn't know _what_ I was gonna do come nightfall but livin' of the street in pissin' cold weather wasn't exactly all new to me. Sometimes back home I'd get lost late at night. It wasn't like I made a habit of sleepin' in a box, but if you knew where to go, some of those bums could put you up pretty nice for a candy bar in your pocket or a couple of bucks. Either way, I figured I'd make do.

"You aren't with them Mann Co. folks, are ya?" I froze- oh, right. This was the town that hated us. The one that Helen got into the legal battle with. I had to play this cool.

"Mann… Co.?" I mumbled quietly. Maybe if I just played dumb she'd buy it.

"Yeah, them no-good big-shots from down south. Apparently two idiot brothers have been fightin' over bits of land their whole lives, and they let their mercenary dogs do the dirty work. They don't even think of what it does to the towns near their 'battle-ground'." She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "Why, if I ever got a-hold of one of them I'd strangle him 'till his neck snapped."

"Sounds pretty rough," I said, tryin' not to sweat. "I'm sure they'd know better than pokin' around in a town like this. Surely they know you don't want em' around."

"I sure do hope so, for their sake. We won't let em' leave quietly if they come showin' their ugly faces around here."

I managed a laugh. "Yeah, yeah. Gotta keep what's rightfully yours, after all."

She nodded approvingly. "Damn right."

"I like this town already," I said. Sure, I'd have to be super careful about what I told people. I'd have to be on my toes or my very life could be in danger. "I'll definitely take that job now!"

"Well, alright then. You can start today if you want. Nobody around here yet and you need to clean up that mess over on table three, toast boy."

I looked past her at the table where I sat. There it was, frozen in what should have been majestic glory but was instead cold and hard as a rock from sitting there all night. "Er, yeah, sure. Sorry about that, Miss…"

"Lacy. Call me Lacy. Or Boss, er…" she waved her hand. "Ah hell, I don't care. What's your name, fella? Don't reckon you wanna be called Toast."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. It felt good to laugh. "My name's…" I stopped. There was no way I was gonna give her my first name. Today was a new day to start a new life with a new name.

"Louis. My name's Louis." It wasn't exactly a lie. Louis is my middle name, Ma's maiden name. I guess she started runnin' out of names by the time she got to me, but at least it sounded normal. Shame no one ever called me by it.

"Alrighty, Louis." Lacy pulled something from behind the counter and tossed it to me. "Put this on and I'll give you the grand tour. As grand as it gets, anyway."

A few hours later I was all settled in. The day was slow with a few burly customers trickling in for lunch, but as Lacy put it the real crowd started at night. It was a Friday, and everybody liked to gather in the diner to celebrate the week's end, when the restaurant transformed into the only bar in town. Only on Friday nights, too. It kept work efficient, they said, and all of Saturday was usually spent by the locals getting over their hangovers and back onto their feet. I didn't drink of course, but there was a twinge of excitement in me at the thought of hoppin' right into the story of a town. I felt like a character in a book all of a sudden. And then it hit me- I could be anyone I wanted to here. Nobody would care. I could be the long lost son of a famous movie star, tryin' to get back home all the way in New York. It sounded amazing.

And kid, I was a _pro_ at cleanin' dishes, also somethin' I learned back home. My buddy Hugh let me work up at his restaurant every summer and I became somthin' of a dish-washin' beast durin' that time. At first it was sorta gross, I guess. I mean, nobody wants to clean food offa dishes, right? But I got over that pretty quick and became a master at it. Lacy liked how quick I was, I think. I swept the floor a couple of times, wiped tables, cleaned a toilet- y'know, that kinda stuff.

And so the day drug on. I tried my very hardest not to think about the fight I was missin' or about the Administrator. For all she was concerned, I'd quit. I didn't announce it, but I sure as hell wasn't goin' back there. She and Pauling both could kiss my ass. Well, maybe not Miss Pauling… Before long the sun was streamin' in the windows in a flood of orange, turnin' the whole place absolutely golden. It looked almost surreal, like I was dreamin' or something. But it was real, and it was new. Probably couldn't have asked for anything better.

Oh, kid, but when the night came, I got proved so wrong. The place came _alive_ that night. Lacy was servin' beers and rums and stuff I'd never even heard of left and right. I've tasted it but I can't say I'm too fond of it- too many bad brushes with Ma's drunkard hubbies for that. Folks of all kinds came in but mostly they were just a bunch of big burly guys I told you about. Most of em', Lacy told me were loggers- cuttin' down trees and shippin' em' off to other parts of the country and the world. These guys _had_ to be tough. As intimidating as they were, it was like hangin' out with a buncha Canadian Heavies. As I cleared away bottles and cleaned tables they were swappin' stories of survival and fights with wild animals, claimin' to have killed bears with nothing but their fists. I fought back the urge to tell them I'd fought a man the size of a bear with nothing but a baseball bat plenty of times. But, then again, I'd had more than enough practice and seen just about every way to fail at it in the process. They even seemed to take a liking to me too! But when one of em' called me a shrimp… Kid, I don't like bein' called short or shrimpy_ or_ tiny _or_ microscopic, or… whatever the hell kind of insults people come up with. Kid, I straitened my shoulders up and did somethin'… probably kinda stupid, in hindsight. Aw, but it felt so good at the time. I got out in the middle of the floor where it was clear and did a _backflip_. Yeah, they got real quiet after that, I can tell ya that much.

"Lively one, eh?" one of the men said, laughing heartily. "You're alright, Kid."

I grinned smugly before one of em' pulled out a violin… from where, I'm not entirely sure, but the guy started playin' like no tomorrow. I'd heard the Doc play the violin, but not like this. This was _rowdy_. Hell, it was downright primal. The man playing it bore a ginger beard that reached almost to his belt, thinning at the end into a point. His fingers were so chubby it didn't look like he could move that quick, but I ain't lyin' when I say I've never heard someone play an instrument that fast. It was lively and the bunch of em' took to singin' drinking songs or… somethin'. I really didn't know what was going on but it sure was fun.

The night dragged on, as did the songs, and the _dancing._ Ooohh, yeah, there was dancin'. They got me out there showin' em' my moves and keeping them well entertained. After a while Lacy offered to clean up the tables herself if I was havin' fun.

It had to be at least three in the morning, if not later. The crowd was still alive and well, besides being a bit tipsy. I was on fire. Sure, I looked like a dog out there doin' tricks for em' but they loved it.

That's when I saw a face in the crowd. It was upside-down 'cause I was standin' on my hands with a stack of plates on my feet but he was familiar even then.

It was _Spy._ Of course. But suddenly he disappeared, not like he'd cloaked or nothin' but like he'd been yanked backwards. I couldn't see because of the angle, but I asked em' to take the plates offa my shoes just as I heard a man they called Guppy because of his consistent alchohol consumption bad-mouthin' him.

"Hey, lookie here, we've got ourselves one-a them Mann Co. bigshots," he said, words slurring badly.

They must have recognized him as bein' in uniform, 'cause more than one of em' said the same thing.

"What're you doing, showing your ugly face in here?" he said.

Spy opened his mouth to reply but Guppy's fist smashed across his face so quickly he merely choked on his words. "GYAH," he yelled. "Merde!"

"Look, _pal,_" said another man, leaning down from his full eight feet of height to stand eye-level with Spy. "You think you can just _waltz_ in here like you own the place and not get beef over it? Hell, it looks like you're even about to _rob_ the place," his voice drawled as he said them, probably hopin' they'd sink in or somethin'.

Two other men grabbed Spy by the arms, holdin' him still. He squirmed a little, looking past the biggest one at me. Kid, I had _no_ intention of helpin' that bastard. I stood there, almost ready to grin. Finally somebody was standin' up for me. That snake was about to get it, and I was _loving_ every second of it. Away from respawn, you feel just a little bit more vulnerable. I knew he was gonna _feel_ this. I hoped he did anyway.

"Let's teach him a lesson, fellas," said the big man and drew back his enormous fist. It had to be at least the size of Heavy's, if not bigger, and planted it right in Spy's ribcage. He choked, yellin' but… not sayin' anything. I could see it on his face. Emotionless, _resolved._ He'd already given up. He'd come in here to get me and wasn't gonna leave otherwise. If they wanted to beat him up first, then so be it, he'd already decided.

And then they all joined in, kickin' him and punchin' him and sometimes flat-out throwin' him across the room. His suit was soon stained purple from all the blood and a multitude of fresh bruises were blooming across what I could see of his face. One eye was already swelling shut, it looked like too. He yelled and screamed as they snapped his left arm- yeah, I heard it… 'cause Guppy put it over one knee and broke it. Never thought of doin' it that way before.

The punishment went on for what had to be at least ten minutes before I… I felt somethin'. Up until that point, every scream, every time he spat blood on the floor made me feel a little more free, but… he never looked at me again after that first time. He was gettin' thrown around like a rag doll and for the first time I could see somethin' different in him. He didn't look like a snake anymore. With a tattered suit and cut up face and that arm bent at a funny angle, Kid, he looked _human._ He'd come all the way out here lookin' for me, which got me to thinkin'…

Maybe they'd been looking this whole time. The town was _not_ the first place I would have gone off to, they probably thought.

And I'm sure he hadn't been the only one lookin' either. Others woulda noticed. I'm sure Friedrich was out lookin' too- Dell mighta joined in too, I dunno.

But the point was, Spy found me and he didn't fight back. I started feelin'… kinda sorry for him.

And then it hit me. These guys weren't gonna give up. In their drunken, enraged state they were gonna torture the Frenchie to death.

I held my arms up after a bit and grabbed Guppy's arm. "HEY," I yelled. "Leave him alone!"

The big man let his readied fist drop, as well as Spy, who was lookin' more like a scratchin' post than a person by now. "You got a problem, little guy?" he asked. "We're just takin' out the trash."

"Well, he…" I had to be careful. They wanted blood, that was for sure. But… I had to save Spy somehow. "He was lookin' for me." They looked at eachother, then Lacy parted the cowd with an angry pace.

"Don't tell me you're one of them, too!" she hissed.

"Yeah. Sorry, Miss Lacy but… yeah I am." She pulled back a wrinkled hand to slap me, I think and then let it fall. "You sonuva bitch."

She had no idea how right she was in that moment.

"Get out. You're fired. I don't wanna see either of you ever again." She turned to leave then turned back. "Hear me?! Get the hell outa my place! Damn mongrels!"

Next thing I knew I received a bunch of angry shouts, a punch to the ribs and Spy and me were quite literally thrown out the back door into the snow. The crowd of drunken men cheered and slammed it behind us, leavin' us in the dark.


	5. Citrouille

I could barely see anything it was so black outside. It was snowin' and the wind was blowin' like crazy, but I could make out Spy's outline, motionless and black like a silhouette against the snow. I crawled over to him and nudged him. "Spy?" He didn't answer. I guess he'd passed out eventually- didn't really surprise me. But I had to get us both out of the cold. He wasn't dressed for it and I was even less so, wearin' a freakin' t-shirt in below-freezin' weather. I spotted an alley nearby and thought it'd make a good place to hide out until it got light enough to see, or until Spy could walk, so I rolled him over, grabbed him under the arms and proceeded to try and haul him over to the space between buildings. And man, was he heavy. I mean, I'm tough and all but Spy must've been eatin' more than usual 'cause the guy was like an anchor in the snow. Eventually he budged though and I pulled him across the little street and leaned him up against the wall out of the wind. There was a metal trash can beside of us and a dumpster, but other than that there wasn't much else in the alley. I thought I could smell somethin' dead though- probably a bird.

I had more important things on my mind though. Like not freezin' to death out there. Carefully I opened the trash can and peered inside. The thing was filled with wood. Dry wood. My arms fell to my sides and I leaned my head back, thankin'… somebody. I dunno who. Whoever they were, they were pretty awesome for lettin' this trash can be for wood giblets. I pulled out my lighter- well, yeah, Kid, I don't smoke but lighters are a hell of a lot of fun to play with. Don't you ever play with one though. Maybe when you're older though. Don't tell your ma.

Anyway, I pulled out my lighter and the few dollars in my pocket and turned my back to the little breeze spiraling through the alley. I lit one dollar- it went out instantly. Damn. Then I lit another one and poked it down among the little twigs in the trash can. It took a minute and some coaxing but before long, lo and behold I had a fire. The thing burned forever, thankfully. Must've been a couple of logs in the bottom of it I couldn't see.

I dragged Spy a little further back and uncovered the ground so we wouldn't have to sit in the snow, and set him up against the wall again. I took a look at his arm, which was still bent sharply off to the side and lifted it, figurin' that it'd be better to set it while he was knocked out. I carefully bent it back, pulling occasionally to make sure the fragments weren't caught on eachother. I'd set a broken wrist before- my own, in fact, but this was a bit more difficult. I'd have to find somethin' to keep it still with later- a… splint of some kind. For now I was concerned with the bare essentials and nothin'else. There wasn't much back there to use for the job so I thought I'd better wait to go lookin'. The metal trash can was warm to the touch and lit up the alley like a lamp, creating somethin' I can only describe as a heat shield.

I sat there by him in silence for quite some time, watchin' the door across the street to make sure they weren't gonna come pilin' out any second to come and finish the job, but after a bit somethin' else grabbed my attention- Spy's mask. The thing was caked with blood that was stll dribblin' down his nose and over his mouth, and it was startin' to freeze, probably to his face. I carefully reached out and grabbed the edge of it, pullin' it off so that it wouldn't do just that. I figured I could probably clean up the cuts on his face with it a bit too.

But what I saw made me stop, Kid. It was a little bit freaky, probably because I'd never noticed it before. I'd seen Spy without his mask one other time, when I stole his sapper to get into Friedrich's office back when we were still tryin' to figure eachother out. He'd been sleepin', and I could see his funny tan, but he must've been sleepin' on his side or somethin' 'cause I don't know _how_ I missed this.

Runnin' across the right side of Spy's face, just beyond the edges of his balaclava and extendin' up halfway across his head and through his hair were three stark-clean scars and an ear torn half to bits. I'm not gonna lie, I gasped. It was freakin' spooky.

"What the hell...?" I whispered in the dark, examining the odd bald spots with rapidly growing curiosity. My first thought was did Ma know about this? He certainly didn't get this while workin' for Mann Co.

It was then that he moaned softly, rolling his head to one side and opening his right eye, his face contorting- I guess the pain was hittin' him again. His other eye was swollen completely shut and a black bruise covered most of the left side of his face and and clearly broken nose. I could hear him breathin' really funny, which got me kinda worried. I didn't know what kind of damage he'd taken inside- he could've had a punctured lung or internal bleeding or…

I tried not to think about it. Besides, he didn't seem to be more or less awake and alert, and most importantly the blood comin' from his nose was only from it being broken. Nothin' comin' out his mouth either, thankfully.

I wanted to say somethin' to him but I… couldn't think of what to say. It hit me that it was my dad, sittin' there. I didn't feel as angry now but… I couldn't help but nod in approval at the mess Guppy and his buddies had made. Now wasn't the time for revenge though, no matter how bad I wanted it. Still, it was… kinda awkward. This creepy old man was my… well, my old man.

"Scout," he said, voice grainy and barely above a whisper. "I-I'm so glad I…" he paused, trying to come back to consciousness completely. "-found you."

"Yeah well," I frowned. "Why?" I figured he didn't need an earful right now but… it didn't make any sense. "Why the hell'd you come after me? People run away for a reason, like when they don't wanna be bothered."

"I didn't know you ran away…" he was really hoarse and he drew in his breaths raspily, soundin' almost like Friedrich. "I thought you were dead…"

"Dead?" Ok, that was really confusing. "What?"

"Ze medic… told me everything. After we couldn't find you." He stared at the wall. "Zhat you were… distraught… you were there half the night and then you just… left. And weren't seen again."

It hit me what he meant. I just took runnin' away as runnin' away. But after my talk with Friedrich and after I just up and disappeared, they must've thought I'd gone off to kill myself or somethin'. I'm not kiddin'- Spy explained that they'd been lookin' for me since ceasefire 'till now, searchin' every place they could think to look until the mention of suicide came up and Spy started lookin' off-base. He'd yelled at Friedrich which made me angry but… I guess I couldn't blame him. They were all lookin'- Soldier, Pyro even. Not that they were much help. Soldier wasn't good at lookin' for things, since he only ever goes diggin' in the couch cushions when somethin's turned up missing.

I just sat there with my mouth open, eyebrows knitted. Gah, had I known they'd been looking- had I known what they'd thought- man I was stupid.

He shifted his weight a bit with a gasp and a hiss, clenching his teeth before stopping, an odd expression coming to his face as he slowly reached up with his good hand to feel at his head. His mouth dropped open a bit.

"My-"

"Uh, yeah… sorry," I said. "It was… the blood was startin' to freeze to your face." Silence. "I am… a little curious though, just- wh-what is… how'd you-" I pointed sheepishly at the scars and was met with a one-eyed disapproving glare. I didn't care though. I wanted answers.

"Scout… Punkin'," he said. "I'm… sorry. For not… telling you any of this."

"Damn strait you are. Hell of a lot-a good you did when I was growin' up."

"It's… complicated." Seemed like everything was.

"Well, we've got hours to sit here and freeze in silence or… we could sit here and freeze while you tell me." I realized my voice was getting' a little cocky, but… I kinda had him cornered and I wasn't takin' no for an answer.

"Alright then." He straitened his back against the wall and stretched his legs out in front of him as carefully as he could, wincing as they plopped into the snow. Might've had a broken ankle or somethin' for all I knew.

"I used to be a thief, long ago, in Paris. I grew up in a place that… did not cater well to the sickly or poor. Call me a Robin Hood if you will."

"Not a chance."

He sighed angrily. "Shut up… I won't tell you if you won't listen."

"Arright, fine, fine. I'm listenin'."

"Naturally, I… stole to provide for my family, and over time I became good at it. Really good at it. Certain people would hire me for a great amount of money to steal precious things from people even more wealthy than they. I suppose the way that it worked doesn't matter. Ze thrill for me was in ze stealth. Ze sneaking.

I'd heard about what great oafs zhere were in America and wanted to see for myself, to see if zhey had anything of worth to offer, or a new challenge. I was on top of ze world, Punkin'. A god among men."

"So you came to America and banged my Ma-"

"No." He scowled at me. "It is… not quite zhat simple, boy. Please, listen. When I met your mother it was during the greatest job of my life. Ze most thrilling. I'd gotten away with some grande imbecile's priceless diamond in my pocket when I bumped into her on ze street, on ze way back to my hotel. Quite literally, in fact." He chuckled a little, grabbing suddenly at his chest and wheezing. "Anyway. Ze diamond fell out of my pocket and she… picked it up. I didn't realize it until it was almost too late, and I began to follow her. Zhis mysterious woman who'd ended up with ze most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I stopped her, finally, on ze bridge near your home. I can remember zhat… look she gave me. Right before she broke my nose."

"That's Ma for ya."

"Haha, oui… As I was struggling to regain my eyesight, she stooped to hand me back ze diamond, without a word. 'Here,' she said 'This belongs to you, I shouldn't have walked off with it. Sorry about your face. It was kinda handsome before.'" It was weird hearin' him trying to do Ma's voice. It just… didn't work so good.

"So she just… gave it back? Just like that?"

"Oui. As she was turning to leave I… felt something. Something deep inside that told me I was an idiot. Zhat ze most beautiful thing I'd ever seen had just given me a rock." His face was softer now, as if he were… I dunno, watchin' a movie or somethin'. I shifted into a cross-legged position, tryin' my hardest to stay awake and listen. The cold was startin' to get to me though.

"I stopped her again, not... sure what to say. She had zhis look about her- well you know what your mother looks like. But under ze street lamp she was like an angel. Dressed in what I interpreted as rags. Her coat was tattered and her hands were practically purple from ze cold. I... I had to give it back. 'Here,' I said, 'you keep it.' She seemed unsure and probably a bit offended, admitting to me later zhat she thought it was a joke but... Zhere on ze bridge I fell in love. So did she, I suppose." He smiled. Man, was this sappy, but... It sounded like somethin' out of a book- a... really good book, too. I found myself getting' more and more interested.

"Yeah?"

"She asked of course why I was just carrying zhat around with me and I... told her ze truth. I was a thief, and it didn't belong to me. But she was not angry with me, she only smiled and laughed, commenting that it was a 'damn good find'. Indeed. She thanked me, and I her and she left."

"Wait, what?"

"Yes. She left me there on the bridge. I went back to ze hotel empty-handed, but so confused all of the sudden that I was not sure what to do next. I did not sleep well that night. I couldn't. Ze woman who had snatched away my finest victory right from my hands, even bearing my consent was gone. How could I sleep with the face of an angel in my head and such wonderful pain bursting through my face. In my hopelessness I did the only thing I knew how. I went back to ze bridge, day after day, far over-extending my stay. I paced ze bridge for, oh, about a week before at last I saw her again. Zhis time she was toting your brothers along as well, all seven of them in a horrid line behind her. It does sound familiar, no?"

I found myself laughing a little. "Yeah."

"She spotted me first, if I am to be honest and commented on how nicely my bruise was progressing. I wanted nothing more right then to tell her of my affections but with her children around, it made me suspicious that she could possibly be married. Zhat was a problem."

I nodded. "I sorta wish it'd stayed a problem."

"Hush." he snorted. "So I complimented her 'little ducklings' and she spoke of a husband, but... not lovingly so. In fact, she turned directly back to me and asked if I would like to join zhem for lunch. I agreed, as odd as it felt, and zhat was how I met your brothers, and how your mother and I fell in love. She wanted to see me again, and I her, and many times we met and talked. I regaled her with my adventure stories and she me, with childhood tales or of her last divorce. I came to know her as a strong woman- delicate to ze eyes, but as solid as a diamond underneath. Before long we confessed our love to one another. In fact it was the evening when she approached me as bruised as I had been. Zhat demon- Jeff, I believe was his name, had beaten her. Zhat was enough for me. I knew she needed a husband. But not the one she had. From the stories she told, it seemed as zhough she had only ever been abused, never truly in love with someone who loved her back. Punkin', ze anger within me was too great to ignore. I embraced her and showered her with all the affections my words could possibly express. I promised I would never leave her and that somehow we would be together." Spy stopped for a minute to cough. His voice was gettin' worse. The cold was gettin' to us both I think. By then my legs were numb.

"She told me she didn't want to go back, not to that. She didn't know what to do, for her children were at the neighbor's house for a ah..." he paused for the word, "Slumber... party?"

"Yeah, yeah, sleepover."

"Anyway, zhey were safe. She could not go back, however. I... did ze only zhing I could and offered to allow her to stay with me for ze night. She agreed and..."

He could see my expression souring. "Yeah, I getcha..."

His eyebrows knitted. "If it it any consolation, it was her idea."

"Sure it was..."

"I was only helping-"

"You were only thinkin' about yourself, Smarty." I clenched my fists as best as I could. Man, they were cold

He sighed hoarsely. "Zhen there was ze... dilemma... She was already two months pregnant with you when Jeff finally put ze pieces together. Ze beatings continued. It's quite a wonder you survived, really. But when she told me... I cannot explain what I felt. At first, guilt. I was causing her grief with zhat monster of a man. But she was glad, and eventually, so was I. I suppose to her you were a part of me she could always keep. Something she could raise and love without having to do so in secret." He scowled suddenly. It was like that bitter anger was radiatin' off of him. "Jeff never even drove her to ze hospital. She walked by herself, though I think I recall your brother Vince helping her get there. At least it was close. Either way, she called me from there."

"Seriously? Man, that guy was a bigger douche than I thought," I said.

"Oui. You were a rather... bald baby, which was concerning, at least to me." he laughed a little, trying not to rattle his broken ribs too much.

"Yeah, Ma's got pictures... They didn't think I'd ever grow hair."

"Haha, yes. But..." he paused. "Again, you almost did not live. I wanted nothing more than to dash in and kill Jeff myself. I wanted to bury my knife into his heart and watch him die."

"Wh-what happened?"

"Your mother once found you covered over with a pillow, blue in the face from lack of air. It did not get there by itself."

"He..." my eyes widened as fear swept up my spine, bringing life back into my limbs with a rush of hot blood.

"Yes. When she confronted him, he merely admitted it and shrugged off the complaint, asking what evidence she possessed and what she was going to do to punish him."

"Bastard."

"Indeed."

"So... why didn't you just... do what you said you wanted to? Y'know, swoop in and be the better man? Er, the uh... deadlier man."

He stared for a long while at the other wall, send I noticed his eye was going' shut. I shook him, probably a bit too hard and he gasped, coughing again.

"Sorry," I said. "Looked like you were dozin' off."

"Possibly." he said simply. "I didn't because I had to flee ze country on very short notice. Ze owner of ze diamond found me and I was nearly killed. Ze only way to escape him truly was to go back to France. I never got to say goodbye to you or your mother, but we spoke on the phone often and wrote letters. She sent pictures and informed me of your progress and ever-growing temper. 'The Bostonian Way' she called it. Eventually I came back, a... changed man. Less ambitious than before." He lifted his right hand and fingered the scars slowly. "I tried to do one last job while I was away from you and your family. I never saw zhis coming though. Ze man had no guard dogs, which was a... bit of a shock. Zhey always had zhem. No, instead he had a single Bengal tiger which nearly tore my head off. I almost went to prison, but somehow managed to worm my way out of it. I had to play it dirty I'm afraid. I did have my return to America to consider after all. And return I did after zhis healed and I was sure I was safe. But by zhen you were practically a man. Bitter, I could see, against ze idea of a father figure. I stuck around for oh, two years or so. It was certainly not easy not being able to go home with your mother at night, to visit with my son and his brothers the way I desperately wanted to. So we decided finally to simply ah, tie the knot. I would introduce myself at last, not as your father but as your mother's husband, hoping to over time build up the father status among you. But..." he went quiet.

"But what?"

"Zhen you left. Your family was poor and you needed space and money and all of these things your mother told me about. She was... heartbroken. More crushed than I had seen her in a rather long time and too fearful zhat you were going to be hurt or killed. We were going to get married very soon but you left before any arrangements could be made. Hastily I offered to follow you. It was my duty, I told her, and it was time to step up and assume it, even if I did so from afar. How I wanted to tell you, but from the moment I met you in person at last you have hated me so. In your eyes I am a snake and a liar and you are correct to label me as such," he rolled his head to face me, lookin' pained, but... not with his wounds, so it seemed.

"Punkin', I... I wish only to make amends. We were foolish then, yes and you have lived brutally, as has your mother purely because of your presence. But please do not hate yourself for this. You were not an accident," he grabbed my arm limply. "Never have you been an accident- not a day of your life. You have changed my life watching you grow and become the man you are today."

Kid, that... did somethin' to me. Deep down. He called me a man. Not a boy, not a lad, not a shrimp or a turd or anything else. Spy presented me with somethin' I'd been waiting for for so long- recognition as a real man. And if my dad was tellin' me that, it had to be true.

I grinned in the darkness, but it faded kinda quick. "But wait, which one-a you decided to name me Punkin'? Did you think it was a big joke? Was that it? Pretty lame if you ask me."

"Haha, no." he smiled simply. "My name is Pumpkin as well, it is just translated into French. My name is Citrouille Andres. Also your mother's idea."

"Damn, and I got stuck with the last name Rickson just 'cause-a Jeff." I laughed. "But wait, why's YOUR name Punkin' too?"

"I was abandoned as a baby- my mother must not have wanted me for one reason or another. I was left in the garden of two sisters, both of about twenty years old. One was taking care of ze other whose mental instability was... rather high, actually. Giselle and Farella were their names. Farella insisted that I be named Citrouille on the account of being discovered in their pumpkin patch. The poor woman thought I really was a pumpkin turned into a child. They raised me and several other orphaned children, and... well there you go."

"Hahaha!" I wrapped my arms around my middle, tryin' to keep from bustin' a gut from laughin' so hard. "So you really WERE a Punkin' then! Shit, why'd you have to dump that over on me?!"

"As I said, your mother wanted something to remind her of me in you. I am sorry if it has caused you hardship in your life. I was not left un-plagued by it, myself if it makes you feel any better."

Sittin' there in that alley got me to thinking. Now that I FINALLY had some answers, it was... kinda startin' to make sense now. I almost felt better. I didn't really wanna be angry at Spy anymore because he did his best with what he had. Sure he was still a creep but at least now that he was opened up a little bit it seemed much less apparent. We weren't out of the clear yet though. We'd been sittin' there for hours and it was already light outside, but... Then I could see Spy fully. The damage was worst than I thought.

His suit was stained brown from all the blood and the bruising had spread down his neck into his shirt. The rattling in his chest suggested only that somethin' was probably wrong inside too.

"Hey, Uh... Citrouley-" I didn't pronounce it right, not in the least. He rolled his eyes and moaned.

"Citrouille. Si-trou-yeh."

"Citrouille, right... Hold still a second." I reached over and prodded him in the side with my fingers, pressing progressively harder until he winced. I kept doin' this in a buncha different places and my suspicions were confirmed. At least half of his ribs were broken, maybe more, his collar bone on the left side and his sternum cracked. Doc had been teachin' me these terms, by the way. Just in case you're wonderin'. But that was a problem. There was no way I could move him in that condition in weather like this. Not three whole miles. He'd die before we got back to base.

It dawned upon me what I was probably going to have to do.

I needed to call the Doc, but to do that I needed a phone, and the only one I knew of was in the diner. As far as I knew the crowd was starting to trickle back out but there were still a few inside, probably ranting on about us and how they'd skin us if we ever came back.

"Hey Spy..." I said "Do you have your cloakin' watch on?"

"Yes, why?"

"Can I borrow it?"


	6. Héritage

((I cannot express how sorry I am for the late chapter. I realize that this is not to-par, or anywhere near close but if all goes well the next one should at least be a bit better.))

* * *

Slowly, Citrouille slipped his watch off of his broken wrist and handed it to me with a groan. "What are you planning?"

"Somethin' kinda stupid, actually." I gave a sort of half-grin and slid it onto my own wrist. The metal was cold against my skin, but the thing powered up just fine. I'd used it before, without permission o'course, so I knew the basics of how it worked.

The old spy's brow furrowed as he watched me stand. "If they catch you-"

"What? What'll happen if they catch me? They're drunk off their asses, there's not a thing they can do to me."

He stared at me for a moment and sighed, relaxin' a bit against the brick wall. "Just be careful…"

I have to admit, Kid, that caused me to hesitate. But not for long- Citrouille's life mattered more than the overall integrity of my face. It was now or never.

So off I went, bracin' myself to the wind and scramblin' off through the snow. I almost ran right into the door on the other side of the street, careful not to rattle it so not to draw attention. My fingers were gettin' numb so I had to act fast. I turned on the watch and felt the subtle static race through me, causin' what arm hair I had that wasn't frozen to stand up and then disappear altogether. I was gone, Kid. I have to give it to him, Spy's got one hell of a fun arsenal. Anyhow, I was careful to turn the doorknob real slow so it wouldn't creak.

I peeked around the corner, the blast of warm smackin' me in the face like a load of towels fresh outa the dryer. Look, quit laughin', you know what I mean.

I could see em' in there- Guppy, Lacy and one of the other guys whose name I never actually caught. They were sorta facin' the other way, speakin' quietly enough that I couldn't hear what they were saying. I'm sure it was something about how I was a dirty rat sneakin' in and tryin' to take over the town or some shit like that. I had to admit, I felt a little bad at first. But the more I thought about Citrouille out there in the snow, probably dyin'… the number of rats' asses I wanted to give dwindled down to nothin' pretty fast.

Phase one was complete- onto phase two. Slowly, I pulled the door open, careful not to let the wind whistle against it too loudly. I slipped inside when the opening was large enough- that's one good thing about being tiny, I guess- then shut it with utmost care. From there, I could see the pay phone in a little nook by the bathroom, a few feet from where I was. First, though, as soon as I was sure they couldn't see me, I brushed the snow offa my shoulders. It probably wouldn't have been very inconspicuous to see floatin' snow in the vague shape of a human, right?

After that, I was off, creepin' practically on my hands and knees. I knew they couldn't see me, but this way the floor had less opportunity to creak. Weight distribution, Kid… it's your best friend, remember that. The nook was comin' up closer and soon I slipped inside, standin' up and stuffin' myself into the corner to make sure I hadn't caught anyone's attention. My guess was Guppy and the other guy were drunk beyond belief, but Lacy… she hadn't had a drop all night. Just coffee. No, she was wide awake and alert as a sentry. But none of them shifted, thankfully. I was left to Phase Three.

The only phone in the whole diner was a pay phone and somehow that hadn't crossed my mind since I had the plan. For a minute I thought I was in trouble- I hadn't had any money comin' in here, otherwise I would have paid for the toast that morning…

But somethin' crossed my mind. I started fishing around in my pockets- nothin'. The side pocket further down my pant leg- also nothin'. But Kid, it's amazing where you'll for something when you're desperate. I slid my shoes off carefully and started to check in there, and then it hit me. My eyes widened as I quietly thanked my nosy brothers for all those years of having my mediocre spending money stolen right from under my nose. I lifted the insole of my left cleat, having forgotten that I'd put change in there long before coming to mann co. I took a second to stop and look at the condition of the shoe- lemme just say, the ones I'm wearin' right now are _not_ them. There was a sort of dead animal smell that liked to radiate off of them purely from age and use day after day. They we gross. But if it had been any other pair I would've been sunk.

I checked the other one- a bit more change, but not as much as the left one. Point was it was just enough to make one call- _one._ I rehearsed the Doc's number in my head to make sure I had it right as I pulled my shoes back on. If I screwed this up, Citrouille would die. That was the truth of it. No one in here was going to help, so it _had_ to be the Doc.

I was careful to put the money in as quietly as I could, then lifted the receiver and carefully dialed the Doc's number. Here's where I had to be careful… here's where I had to _talk_. I didn't know what would happen and hoped that Friedrich would be able to decipher my whispering.

And then it hit me… like a sledgehammer coated in glass. My mind turned back to Citrouille- to something he'd said. He told me both he and the Doc were out looking…

…for me.

My heart sank into my shoes. There was no way the Doc could be in his office. Not unless he'd given up, and I knew there was no chance of that happening. I could feel my pulse quickening anxiously- the phone rang once, twice, three times- it was taking forever.

I thought we were gonners, Kid… and then I heard it.

A click.

"Hello?" said a gruff voice. I gasped a little in excitement, but… then stopped. It wasn't the Doc who'd answered the phone.

No, it was much, much worse.

I could hear him breathin'- it was Sniper.

There was nothin' else I could do, Kid. This guy _hated _me, but I had to try somethin'.

"E-excuse me," I began politely, "Is the Doc there?"

I heard him give a growl. "Nope. Doc's gone off somewhere- left his office door wide open. Who is this?"

"It-" I paused. "It's Scout. N-no wait pleasedon'thangup-" I sputtered. "Please."

"You little mongrel- what d'you want now?"

"Please," I was having trouble just keeping my breathing under control. I didn't care if I sounded desperate, but Lacy'd hear me if I let things get out of control. "Please… Spy's hurt. We're in town, behind the diner. He's in the alley. You have to send someone-"

"Why should I help you? Sneaky little-"

"He's… my dad, Sniper. That's… that's why." I wasn't sure where that came from, but it caused the Aussie to get real damn quiet.

I sat there forever, knowing my time with the pay phone was almost up. Part of me anticipated he was about to hang up. I hung my head, biting my lip.

"…okay."

I stopped. "W-what? Really?!" It was hard to stay quiet now. "Aw man, thank you! Th- I- I'm sorry for being such an asshole."

"You're still an asshole for waking me up at the crack of dawn," he replied. "I'll go get-"

And then the phone cut off. I didn't wait around for the little message tellin' me to put more change in. I hung up real quick before it started, actually so it wouldn't make much noise.

I fiddled with Spy's watch a bit to make sure it was working properly then eased my way out of the little cranny. Can you believe it, Kid, I made it out of there without anybody seein' _or_ hearin' me. I expected something bad to happen, but I managed to get out the door and across the street with no problems.

But when I got back, I noticed somethin' funny about Spy. He didn't seem to be breathin'.

Quickly I knelt down and began shaking him- not enough to hurt him in case he _was_ still alive, but enough to wake him.

"Spy! SPY! CITROUILLE."

He snorted, opening his one good eye and gasping at the jostling motion. "Did you get to the phone…?" he whispered. He didn't even sound like Spy anymore.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." I grinned a little, sittin' back down. "You alright?"

"Oui. Just… a little tired."

"I know, but you've gotta stay awake. People who fall asleep freeze to death, right?"

He nodded slightly, then fell silent for a few minutes before he spoke again. "When all of zis iz over, would you… like to go back home? Wiz me? Now zat you know…"

I felt my eyebrows furrowin'. He had a point. He really loved Ma, I could see it better at that point. We could have a good life back home- I'm sure he'd go get a decent job, so could I… but… somethin' else was on my mind.

"I can't," I said. "Friedrich needs me."

"Ze Medic?"

"Yeah, I… I've been helpin' him find a cure for his son, Klaus. The guy's gonna die if he doesn't do something. And… we're so similar, he's been able to use me as a sort of-"

"Guinea pig…" he sighed. "I know."

I shook my head and leaned against the wall. "Look, you can go home if you want. If what you've told me is true- one-hundred percent, honest-to-goodness true… If you _really_ love my Ma… then go. But I've got another responsibility here. If I leave, Klaus is gonna die for sure."

He peered at me from under a swollen eyelid, then looked back into the blueish almost-darkness. I could guess that mornin' was coming up fast.

"_Non…_" said Spy after a minute. "I do love her… but I must stay here if I am to do what she's asked of me. She wants me to look after _you._ And zat is where I will stay, if you so choose it."

I frowned. I knew how badly he wanted to go home to her. But I couldn't leave Friedrich. Citrouille had proved that night that he could be a father, but in twenty years he'd failed to accomplish what a half-crazy German medic did in only a few months, and that was be my dad.

…..

Two or so hours passed…

I started getting' worried.

What if Sniper hadn't relayed the message?

What if he couldn't find the Doc?

What if Spy died before we got help?

My mind was spinnin'… but then…

I heard it.

It was just a low rumble at first, far off in the distance. I'd almost dozed off, and by that point I was leanin' my back up against Spy, trying to keep him and myself warm. His breathing was horrible- almost worse than the Doc's at this point- all gurgling and gross.

But, as if with the rising sun, I saw a white beast comin' closer- barreling over the snow banks. I thought he was gonna go in front of the diner- but no, Sniper had told him precisely where we were, like I'd hoped, and he wedged the van into the little space between the buildings before hopping out and rushing to us. I started to stand up to help him move Spy- I thought that's what he was about to do, but he stepped right over Citrouille and grabbed me instead, yankin' me into an embrace. He was outa breath, I could tell, and sweatin' like a madman.

"Verdammt, Boy…" he breathed before letting me go and scowling a little. His face never showed a _whole_ lot, but I could tell I'd put him through the wringer. "I've looked _everywhere._ Vhat zhe _hell_-"

"I can explain later," I said and pointed down at Spy, who stared up at us casually. "He needs help. Bad."

The Doc didn't say anything- just stooped down and nodded to Spy. "Danke…" he said.

"Not a problem…" Spy whispered. "Ze runner just went on a little adventure is all."

"Help me lift him," said Friedrich, grabbing Spy's legs as I grabbed him under the arms. I was cold and weak, but I had enough energy left to try and lift him. He gasped at first, the very act of lifting him shifting his broken bones and disturbed innards. Then it turned to curses and the occasional yell as we carried him several feet to the back of the van, where the Doc had next to nothing. No stretcher, no straps to secure him, nothing.

"I'll ride in the back too," I said. "So he doesn't slide around."

"Danke." He said as we laid Citrouille in the back of the van. I hopped up in it too and sat down, pullin' some blankets from a compartment and bundlin' Spy up like a burrito. At least he had those.

Soon we were off. I can't really remember specific details of what happened. All I know is it was a flurry of me tryin' to keep Spy still, as every little bump made him worse, and describin' to Friedrich _exactly_ what had happened, and probably what I'd learned in the process.

It was in a moment that I wasn't paying attention that it happened. I noticed Spy wasn't respondin' to my questions anymore. He just laid there.

"Spy…?" I asked, shakin' him. "Oh God, no, SPY. DOC, DOC," I screamed. The Doc nearly wrecked the car.

"Vhat?!"

"He ain't breathin'!"

"Did he _just_ stop?"

"Yeah!"

"My medigun's in ze back seat- turn it on and start doing chest compressions. It should be enough to keep him alive for a moment- we're almost zhere."

I did as he told me, grabbin' the medigun and turning it on, setting it on the floor of the van and doing the best chest compressions I could on Spy. I'd never actually _seen_ it done before, just heard about it on the radio.

It was workin', but just barely. I could feel a pulse…

…but it didn't last long.


End file.
